No Ma'am, We're Musicians
by infraredphaeton
Summary: Glee, from the band's perspective. Every chapter is an episode, covering s1 to current.


**Title: No Ma'am, We're Musicians**

**author: infraredphaeton**

**rating: PG13**

**warnings: silliness, lots of OCs**

**summary: Glee, from the band's perspective, from season 1 to current.**

**A/N: Kaye Parker belongs to the lovely Julia, and Jon Keye belongs to the equally lovely Penny. Cameron Tennant is my own creation**

Tuesday mornings were awesome, Cam decided, taking the long route past the back of science labs to avoid the jocks lurking in the car park. Not only did it mean there were only three days left until the weekend, but Jon always brought in leftovers on Tuesday, and that was especially cool, and Cam had finished the latest Professor Layton game last night - well, three AM, which was close enough to last night to count - and today was going to be the best day ever!

Also, Tuesday meant band practice.

That pretty much meant it was the best day ever invented in the history of the calendar.

He dropped onto a bench next to a dark-haired girl his own age, who was angrily hunched over and glaring at everyone who came too close.

"Hey, Kaye!" he said brightly, offering her a cup of coffee.

"You are too cheerful. Go away," Kaye muttered darkly, deigning to take the cup and shooting him an evil look.

"If I went away, you'd miss me!" Cam smiled, taking a sip of his own drink.

Kaye sighed, shaking her head, "Why are you so happy this morning? Don't make me regret asking."

"We have band today! Band is awesome! And I have Comp. Sci first thing!"

"Cheerful as ever, I see," said a dryly amused voice, and Cam grinned, looking up at the junior in front of him.

"Jon! How are you, man?"

Jon rolled his eyes, "The same as I was when you left my house at twelve last night."

"Awesome, then!"

"...sure, let's go with that," Jon said, hitching his backpack higher on his shoulder.

"Hey, how come you came through the front?" Cam asked. "The football guys are there!"

Jon shrugged. "They're tossing the gay kid in the dumpster. I just kept my head down."

Cam frowned slightly. "Poor guy...that sucks!"

Kaye rolled her eyes, standing up suddenly. "Worry about yourself, moron. We're band, we're in the social basement. I've had to help you wash slushie out of your hair how many times in the last three weeks?"

"Twelve!" Cameron answered cheerfully, "But it's no big deal!"

The bell rang, and Kaye crumpled her empty Starbucks cup, dropping it in the bin.

"Homeroom! I love homeroom!"

"I think we should skip," Kaye said, "it's not like we're going to learn anything in school today. Or ever."

"Go. Learn. Suffer," Jon told them."If I have to, so do you."

"Bye, Jon!" Cam grinned, punching his shoulder as he followed Kaye to class.

"Cam, I'm warning you now, I reserve the right to punch you in the face if you irritate me too much today."

"Okay, Kaye! But please don't! You'd get detention, and that would suck!"

"...that would be your first thought."

"Did you hear that Mr. Ryerson got fired?" Jon asked when he sat down at the table the rest of the band had taken over.

"And Mr. Schue is taking over the Glee Club," Kaye added, watching the door. "He's late."

"Cam? He'll be fine. Help me divide the meat loaf," Jon said, pulling out a tupperware container.

"If he gets locked in the janitor's closet again, I'm going to be so pissed," Kaye said darkly, but helped transfer the food onto plates, splitting it up equally.

"He won't get locked in the janitor's closet, Kaye," Jon said, "he's not actually a damsel in distress."

"Hey guys! Sorry I'm late, I got slushied by Azimio again and had to go get changed!" Cam said cheerfully, dropping into the empty seat between Jon and Kaye.

Kaye looked at Jon, and he shrugged.

"Okay, you have a point."

"What point? Ooh, is that meatloaf? Do I get some?"

"No. I brought meatloaf for everyone except you, Cam," Jon said dryly. "Of course you do."

Cam grinned, grabbing a plate, and began to eat, giving Jon a thumbs-up.

"Hey, guys," Artie rolled up to their table, smiling.

"Let me guess, you smelled Jon's meatloaf and decided to rejoin the band," Kaye said, beginning to nibble at her lunch.

"Hey, Artie! How's life, man?" Cam grinned, guarding his plate protectively from Kaye's roaming fork.

"Oh, good. Good," Artie nodded, fiddling with the strap on one of his gloves, "Actually, I was wondering if you could do me a favour."

"What kind of favour?" Jon asked suspiciously, adding politely, "You want some meatloaf?"

Artie grinned, nodding, and Cam scooted his chair over, making room for Artie at the table.

"I'm in the Glee club, and we want to do Don't Stop Believing - you know, the Journey song?"

"I love that song!" Cam said cheerfully.

"Of course you do," Kaye sighed.

"So could you do it? We need an accompaniment, and you guys are the best musicians here… It'd be a huge favour, I know, but..." Artie smiled hopefully, eating his meatloaf.

"Sure!" Cam agreed.

Kaye looked at him, "We'll talk to the others, and let you know."

"Thanks, guys, really. This is so great," Artie said cheerfully, finishing his food.

"We haven't said yes yet, Artie," Jon reminded him as he rolled away. "We'll talk to the horn guys, and get back to you."

"Still, it'd be great." Artie called back, and the stuttery Asian girl fell into step with him as he left the cafeteria.

"We are the greatest band ever!" Cam said thoughtfully, parrying Kaye's fork as she tried to steal his mashed potatoes.

Jon closed the Chemistry text book he'd been trying to study from, looking at his friends seriously.

"If we play once, there's no way they won't ask us to play again, you know."

"It'll be fun!" Cam said happily, "Something different! Jazz is fun, but rock and pop and stuff will make a cool change!"

Kaye shrugged, "Like I care."

"But I want to play rhythm guitar this time! Shayla can play bass!" Cam decided.

"I guess we should go tell the other guys we're going to Glee club rehearsal today instead of normal, right?" Jon asked, as the other two finished their lunch.

"Kaye and I will go find them, right, Kaye?"

"Speak for yourself. Jon has cookies," Kaye said, eyes focused on the paper bag Jon had pulled out of his bag.

"And Cam gets two cookies, because he's going to go brave the corridors and find the horns," Jon said, tearing the bag open and picking the two largest cookies, handing them over.

"Yay!" Cam grinned, sticking one in his mouth immediately and smiling around it.

Kaye hid a smile, rolling her eyes.

"Yes! I made Kaye smile! Best day ever!"

"Go find the horns, Cam," Jon reminded him, and Cam nodded, jumping up, as Kaye grabbed a cookie.

"Oh, right! Alright, see you in the choir room!" Cam grinned, waving as he headed out of the room.

Kaye stood up, picking up her bag, and snatching a few more cookies.

"I have things to do. I'll see you later."

"Don't damage Azimio too badly, Kaye. If you get sent to juvie, I won't be impressed," Jon said mildly, nibbling at a cookie.

"What makes you think I'm going to do anything to Azimio?" Kaye asked, making a face that was clearly supposed to look innocent.

"The fact that I've known you since you were a freshman, and know that when people touch band, people get mysteriously hurt?" Jon asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I won't do any permanent damage," Kaye promised, and stalked off.

"Another highly eventful lunch in the life of a drummer," Jon mused quietly, opening his chemistry book again and beginning to flip through it, "don't you agree, everyone?"

He looked around at the empty table.

"Don't all talk at once, now."

"What do you mean, you want to play the drums?" Jon asked slowly, looking at Finn doubtfully.

"I like drums, come on, dude, I'm good."

"They're **my**drums," Jon said stubbornly, clinging to his sticks like the quarterback would physically take them away.

"I personally think that there's merit to Finn's suggestion," said the brunette - who had introduced herself as 'Rachel Berry, do you want me to give you an autograph now? It'll be worth a lot more in the future'. "It could add an element of interest to the song, showcasing our diverse talents and interest in other forms of music to just singing alone."

"The only interest she has is in White Bread over there," Kaye muttered to Cam.

"Kaye! That's mean!" he hissed back, and she shrugged. "It's true! But it's mean!"

"But I am a **drummer.** I play the **drums**," Jon said darkly, "I don't try and sing Journey, you don't try and play the drums, we'll all be happy."

"What's the big deal?" Kurt asked, curling a finger in his hair and crossing his legs, "So you let Finn play for a while. Are you symbiotically attached to the drum kit? Can you physically not bear being separated for the length of a verse?"

"Come on, just this once?" Finn asked, stretching out his hand, and behind him, Rachel nodded, smiling with encouragement.

Jon glared, but stood up and shoved the sticks at Finn.

"Don't think this is ever going to happen again," he warned, crossing his arms and standing next to Cam sulkily.

"Of course not, dude, they're all yours," Finn said reassuringly, sitting down. "It's just this once."

"It better be," Jon muttered darkly as the other Glee club members descended from the risers, arranging themselves.

"And one, two, three, go!"


End file.
